My son is making Gingerbread Houses at school this Friday. His teacher emailed me to ask if John would be able to participate since it is a food related activity. The protocol is the teacher sends out a mass email to parents asking for ingredients to be sent in. Now, I have to say I’ve been through this scenario several times since John was in preschool. Here’s how it used to go: I’d email his teacher, give a list of safe brands and hope for the best. I also always volunteered that day to make sure everything went OK and John wasn’t left out.
In the past I have tried really hard not to be over the top in my request to have specifc brand names purchased but reiterated it was the only way to make sure John could participate in any food activity. In the early days, he was usually the only one in his class with a severe allergy so oftentimes other parents never understood the importance of my requests, or that it was a safety issue. I used to get snickers and sneers too, but those didn’t bother me as much as the blatant refusal to buy the brand name indicated on the list submitted to them from their child’s teacher. So I’d show up thinking everything would work out and John could participate, only to find out a few key ingredients had allergens in it. This has happened EVERY year.
This year I decided to suck it up and just buy everything and make it my “donation” to the class. John is in first grade now and really gets the fact that at times his allergies exclude him from his peers. I want him to enjoy the activity and not be stressed over whether he can participate. It’s a small price to pay for peace of mind. But I have to say there are times I am still bothered by the fact that this is still the way it has to be.
So nearly $80 later, I am at least comforted by the fact that I know for sure John will make his house on Friday. And none of the other kids will even know the difference.
Good job, Mama. It’s hard, isn’t it? Maybe next time the teacher could ask the other parents to donate a couple bucks each and then you could shop with that.
Gosh, $80 is a lot but I would and will do the same thing starting next fall. It’s the easiest way to ensure safety. I like what Nowheymama said: Good job, Mama!
You’re a good Mama! It’s so hard to see our kids excluded. I’ve had to do the same thing this year (at a much less price than $80.00 – ouch). I like Nowheymama’s suggestion to. And it will help the other parents feel involved too
You’re such a sweet mommy
It’s so tough when other people don’t understand the seriousness of food allergies. Bravo Kelly!
Thanks girls, it really DOES help to know there are so many of you who have to face the same issues. I really like nowheymama’s suggestion; when we get around to Valentine’s Day I will most certainly use it!
Not to be the “Debbie Downer” but you will always have the one or two moms who will complain about sending in $2 to $3 dollars or will not send any money in at all. When I was room mom it would drive me crazy to hear the complainers when you do so much for the class. However, what else are you going to do? You are the hardest working mom I know!
Wow, go you. That must have been tough to shell out that money but maybe it will make the other moms realize that this is serious. Hopefully, it will make them feel bad too:)
You are such a good mom! I wonder if a fund could be taken at the beginning of the year, or added in with the class fund, for such food events/parties—unfortunately, you would have to do the shopping, or at least make a specific list for someone. It may be.a relief to parents that it is taken care of for the year and, also, a relief to you!
Have fun making the houses!
This year is the first year that we’ve had to actually reconfigure our budget to pay for things like that. Makes me a little crazy that somehow allergies always means we spend more – and more to help integrate our boys, but the outcome is absolutely worth while.
Especially once they’re old enough to recognize the social impact of not being included. Can’t retrofit the world to fit them, but we should at least look for places where we could try, no?
Miryam, I know what you mean by “budgeting” for these things. You’ll notice that in many of the recipes I post on my blog are developed with a budget in mind…no expensive ingredients allowed! (except for vanilla, I am a stickler for that). I really hate spending a lot of money on expensive allergen free cake mixes and products, and hope that one day the cost of these items will fall more in line with their traditional counterparts.
I went ahead and bought all the snack crackers and cookies for my son’s preschool class for the whole year. Six kids, three days a week adds up to a lot of crackers. But I feel much better knowing that I don’t have to read the ingredients each day on whatever the day’s parent-teacher chose to bring in!!!