Thanks for all your insight and comments ladies! I thought of all of you when I dropped off those heavy bags of groceries today to my son’s classroom. Upon leaving John’s teacher said, “Oh by the way, can you look at some of the candy that a few other moms wanted to drop off for the activity tomorrow?” I got that sinking familiar feeling again, knowing all too well what was going to come next.
I said sure, but also wondered why some moms still sent in candy when I already said I was going to donate all the items. I suppose there is always one or two who still want to participate and send something in anyway.
He showed me all the bags of red hots, mints, gum drops and other traditional gingerbread house candies. Every single one of them had one or more of the ingredients John is allergic to. Proved my point…if I didn’t send to school all the supplies we would have run into the same situation for the fourth year in a row. As painful as it was forking over the $80 dollars, that moment alone made it worth it. One thing is for sure: I will be in John’s classroom tomorrow to make sure those other bags of candies aren’t opened.
To the average person who doesn’t have to face these food allergy safety issues it must seem like we are the food police. But the reality is we are simply protecting our children, not only physically but emotionally. I’ll never apologize for going to these lengths to make my son safe and feel included. The most meaningful thing to me is that whenever I have baked or brought ingredients to school I always get a warm smile from my son as I leave, his way of thanking me for thinking of him. And that is really all that matters.
I’ve been were you are, so many times. The class “food projects” are less numerous at our new school, but I’ll never forget how I was asked to “police” the ingredients for a 100-day celebration, which I tried to do.
It turned out that everybody showed up with non-safe ingredients anyway. It’s so frustrating and it leaves you feeling helpless sometimes. People don’t understand, but a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.
I spent 4 hours last week baking safe holiday cookies for my daughter’s class–well worth the effort, since she so appreciates it. This year, she was out sick, but I still showed up w/treats–another of her classmates has peanut/tree nut allergies, so I didn’t want to let her down. Just another day in the life for us food allergy moms, right??
Kelly, you’re clearly doing a great job and your son is lucky little guy!
Great tips, thanks!
It’s good to know I’m not alone. Just went through the same experience with my son’s 1st grade class. Even though I’d already said I’d bake cookies, someone brought a dozen donuts. Thankfully, the teacher thought to call me before giving one to my son, who is allergic to eggs.
We finally have a routine that works for us. Emily’s teacher emails me to say there is an upcoming food activity and tells me what it is and what ingredients are going to be used. ( I know that every time she is hoping I will say OK-great, but it hasn’t happened yet). Then I volunteer to help in the classroom on the day of the event. I bring an equivalent of everything being used, and Emily and I sit at a table separate from all the other kids and make her project from the items I brought. It’s frustrating, and time consuming…but it’s what works for us. I’m glad you have found what works for you. Keep up the good work Mama!