A week or so ago I had lunch with a few of my girlfriends, talking about this and that. Then the topic came up about my blog and food allergies. None of my friends have children with food allergies but they have probably learned enough about it from me and my trials and tribulations. One of my girlfriends sent the link to my blog to her colleagues because she thought it might be valuable to share relevant information about food allergies, especially since she works in a school district. What came next never ceases to shock me, but it sure hurts.
Apparently a few of her colleagues responded in hateful tones about the seriousness of food allergies. I’m paraphrasing here, but it went something like “Sure, I’ll give up sending cupcakes to school with my kids. Then let’s ban peanuts, and milk from lunchrooms, etc”. These comments were allegedly made with a sarcastic tone, though I wasn’t there to personally hear them. But I don’t dispute it because over the years I have heard my own snickers and comments from less than understanding parents who are so fortunate to not have to live with the liability of a food allergy.
Which brings me to another point about recent comments in the media downplaying the seriousness of food allergies and the resulting deaths. FAAN even went so far as to make a statement on their website about this, commenting that the numbers are real, and that even one death is too many. And they pose the bigger, more important question: Why are people dying from food allergic reactions? What are we doing to prevent them? My question is why haven’t we found a cure yet? We understand the science behind what occurs during an allergic reaction so why can’t we figure out how to prevent them?
Parents with food allergic children have two very important jobs: a. educate others about the real danger of food allergies, and b. keeping our children safe and alive. There is no room for sarcasm and uneducated comments. I assure you that if even one of those parents received a diagnosis of a life threatening food allergy from a physician their quick witted comments would halt.
What bothered me most about my friends’ colleagues is that these are seemingly educated school professionals. Why aren’t they trained to know the difference between an allergy and an intolerance? Why are they joking about our children’s safety and well being? Furthermore, why are these people working in a school district when they apparently have no regard for 504 Plans and disabilities?
This is exactly why my new years resolution is to do everything I can to raise awareness and educate others about food allergies and its dangers. I know we all have done so much to bring attention to this in our schools, playgroups, camps, sports teams, restaurants, airlines, in laws, the list could go on. But clearly it isn’t enough. It won’t be enough until more federal funding is awarded to the research and education of food allergies.
In the meantime, I am so thankful to have you, my readers and fellow blogging friends who truly understand and live this reality every day. Your support, comments and helpful advice mean so much. Thanks to you all and happy new year!
It IS frustrating, but it just proves that you need to keep doing what you’re doing. Good for you!
This breaks my heart. I feel so fortunate my children’s school is incredibly responsive to concerns.
I was in to see the school nurse yesterday, and was worried about what she was going to say about my daughter’s concerns about some of the kids spitting the milk in the cafeteria, and she was AMAZING!
Her final comment to me, “No child should feel unsafe in school. If it takes more classes to teach the children about the dangers of food allergies, I will do it.”
I hit send too before I could wish you a Happy New Year!
Your New Year’s Resolution is wonderful, and I wish you all the best with it.
It is SOO frustrating when adults say those types of things. You would NEVER hear such things said about diabetes or cancer. Keep up the good work and the education! The only way to change attitudes is to educate.
I agree with your frustration completely.
On a positive note, though, speaking as someone who has “been in the trenches” for over 18 years, our experience has always been that the other KIDS are terrific!
For example, although I never asked for an allergen-free environment, some of the other kids took it upon themselves to give up peanut butter because they didn’t want my son “to get sick.”
Other kids would ask their mothers not to put out certain things at parties, so it would be safe for my son. Or they would watch over him at lunch, telling random kids who wandered by with allergenic foods in their hands to stand back so their crumbs wouldn’t drop into my son’s food.
He only had one teasing incident in all those years (he’s in college now).
Adults might be a pain, but kids are usually very compassionate and understanding.
Thanks so much for all your wonderful insight. Vivian I am so happy to hear about your school’s proactive approach..so reassuring. And Linda, I couldn’t agree with you more about how wonderful and understanding kids can be. My 8 year old daughter did a family presentation out of the blue last week about food allergies, complete with diagrams. It was great and I told her she should ask her teacher to stand up in front of her class to do the 1 minute speech. Children love to listen to other children. Thanks again everyone!
Kelly, I like your attitude!
Doesn’t Vivian’s school nurse sound great?Linda’s comment about kids being compassionate seems to be true here. My non-allergic son no longer wants to bring hummus & pita to lunch now that his good friends have a sesame allergy because he wants to sit with them. My younger son’s friends (age 5) notice peanuts and unsafe environments for peanut allergies when they are out of school because they know my son is allergic. Kids are amazing.
Adults, on the other hand…?I guess with the disappearance of childhood innocence, there is also a waning of compassion sometimes too.
I don’t understand the hostility. My son’s school doesn’t allow cupcakes because of Hepatitis C and their efforts to cut back on the sugar. These school “professionals” are speaking without knowing the facts.
I didn’t used to get the concept of food allergies either. Then my youngest son was born and couldn’t keep down any dairy. I used to apologize at restaurants for his allergies, not anymore. Now I tell the waiter, “No dairy, eggs, nuts or sesame seeds. If he does he’ll vomit all over.” I say this in a hushed tone, because I don’t want to ruin anyone’s meal, but they have to understand that it’s more than an inconvenience.
I would never want my son to get sick on purpose, but I wish there was a way to show folks what a real reaction was like. It would stop them in their tracks. The poor kid’s been sick on almost every restaurant in Morris County, NJ. Now, we only take him out in emergency situations where we can’t get home to cook.
I have never understood the senseless hostility either. Your angle of telling the weather your son will vomit all over is great…never tried it, but am tempted. That would certainly get their attention! Thanks so much for your comment!
Sad that these people are working in a school district and aren’t intelligent enough to leave these comments to themselves.
I also tell waitstaff what Meredith says….and I SWEAR they pay attention more because they don’t want to be cleaning up vomit!
A thoughtful post about a widespread problem.
It’s amazing to me that “educated” people are so small-minded on this topic, but I’ve dealt with family members in the medical field who don’t even believe I need to take the precautions I’m taking.
It’s kind of like “I was quiet until you came for me.” If they lived it, their snarkiness would die down immediately.
Also, why do grown-ups get so upset ’cause the school banned cupcakes??? Food allergies aside, my kids get enough sugar as it is. Schools should set a good nutrional example, so what’s the big deal with limiting sweet treats?
You’re 100 percent right Jenny. With childhood obesity at record high numbers, why are fighting over the right to cupcakes at school??