Today at 11:20 am I felt like I was sitting on pins and needles. I was anxious because I let my 6 year old son John buy lunch in his school cafeteria without physically walking into the lunchroom and speaking with the head chef. John’s lunch hour is during this time and I literally sat by my phone waiting in case something went horribly wrong and John suffered an allergic reaction. A neighbor was taking my two older children to school while I prepared to go to my youngest son’s speech therapy. I only had time to call the lunchroom but the head chef wasn’t picking up. I called back the office and even the regular secretary wasn’t there. So I left my detailed message with a secretary I didn’t know, placing trust in the fact she would deliver the message about John ordering lunch today and what he could/couldn’t have. Toward the end of the conversation I felt a lot like the Shirley Maclain character in “Terms of Endearment”, when she freaks out on the hospital staff because her daughter didn’t get her pain medication on time. I repeated the directions to this new secetary a few times, reiterating that it was VERY important my chef lady got the message verbatim, or else my son could suffer a life threatening reaction. She seemed to get the picture.
I know to some this may seem ridiculous but for us food allergy mama’s it is a very real fear. There is always that one chance that something could go wrong, a slip up could occur and then our child’s life could be in jeopardy. Almost as soon as I hung up the phone I wanted to drive over to the school to find my chef lady so my mind could be put at ease. But I sat back and trusted it would all be OK.
To my knowledge (it’s 1:28 pm Chicago time and the first grade lunch is over) it turned out OK. I know some of my mama friends who don’t have to live with food allergies would think I am a total nut (pun intended) but I don’t care. I will never stop worrying or caring about how to keep my son safe and alive. I know so many of you feel the same way too. That’s why I know I can admit my temporary moments of insanity with you and you’ll get it.
I totally relate to your anxiety! What did he eat? Since our kids have similar allergies I am curious because I have always assumed there’s basically nothing my daughter could eat from the school cafeteria (she is still in preschool so we have not had to face the elementary-school-lunchroom yet).
Hey Leigha, today’s menu was plain bagel with cream cheese, vegetable soup and fruit. John was allowed to have the plain bagel (no cream cheese) and fruit. The soup had peas in it, and John is allergic to peas as well. I assumed exactly the same thing as you, until I had a long meeting with the head chef, the district’s director of food service and the school nurse. We wrote out John’s 504 plan and developed an allergy action plan for the cafeteria, ie. who John should go to first if he experiences any symptoms, training that person on the epi and to call 911 immediately, etc. We then went through the menu choices and determined that the times that I thought John could buy lunch, I would go in and check the boxes and labels. I’ve even called vendors about the breads, rolls, etc. It is time consuming but the few times John has been able to eat the school lunch has been very rewarding for him. He felt included.
I am so glad it went so well! And you deserve a “good job mom!” for all that extra leg work just so he can eat at school. You are raising a boy who is going to be able to take care of himself anywhere he goes, a sleep-over, camp, and college. You should be very proud of both of you.
Thanks so much Trisha! I really appreciate your kind words.
Hi! I have been reading your blog a lot lately, and I can totally relate to your anxiety over lunch. My daughter is Ana. to all dairy products. Due to one too many mistakes at daycare, I now send all her food everyday. This however, doesn’t lessen my anxiety, and I make sure I turn my cellphone on when I am away from my desk for lunch, just in case the school has to call! She starts kindergarten in the fall, and I almost had a panic attack just walking into the school to register thinking about the food situation! If you have any advice to share on adjusting to life in elementary school, that would be great!
Thanks so much for your comments Kate. Sending our food allergic kids into the school and the lunchroom can be stressful, can’t it? I have some tips for you next year that I will post soon!
I am glad John was included in buying lunch. I know with Erin, having “hot lunch” is such a special treat! I need to use the name Chef Lady–makes it sound so gourmet!
Thanks Cindy! John really loves to eat with the other kids and buy lunch.
I’m dreading the day that my daughter goes to school? Does it ever get any easier? She’s only 3 1/2 and I’m dreading the start of preschool (which only includes a snack), so I totally sympathize with you having an older child with severe allergies in the lunchroom – AHHHH!
I really hope it gets easier Lisita. Preschool is pretty manageable IF your school follows a set list of guidelines and approved snacks. For instance, your preschool should really be Peanut Free under all circumstances. And if there are other allergies (like my son had), send in an approved snack list from which parents can choose to buy from, ie. raisins, allergen safe crackers and pretzels, fruit, carrots, etc. I wish I had more answers about first grade and beyond….I’m still dreading it!
That’s really neat that your son was able to eat “school food”. Despite the huge number of allergic kids and epipens in our school, I am so wary of school lunch that I have opted for our PA son to do half-day Kindergarten. They’re just too cavalier and it seems historically no parents ever ask for anything to change–everyone’s too afraid to “rock the boat”.
Good job getting in there and making sure your son could take part in such an important social activity–school lunch!
Jennifer, I know what you mean – though our school district is recognized as more forward thinking in food allergy policies, when I sat down the district supt. to discuss eliminating birthday treats in the classroom and to celebrate using non food items, i was shut down in a big way….they didn’t want to “rock the boat” either. This is so ridiculous to me….and I haven’t given up on it yet.