Seems pretty simple and straightforward; hot dogs, chips, apples and drinks. My son’s camp planned a fun lunch cookout today for the kids. They get to eat hot dogs and hang with their friends on the beach. But for my son John, and like many other food allergic kids, it is never that simple.
I got the flyer about the cookout sent home in my son’s backpack yesterday, and already my soon to be 7 year old started worrying about it. “Is it safe for me? Can I eat with everyone else tomorrow?” I answered my usual, “I don’t know, I’ll have to call the director to find out. But I am sure we can work something out, so don’t worry about it, OK?”. I always try to downplay my reaction to these sorts of things so I don’t sound like the food police or some kind of mommy alarmist. But John persisted. “When are you going to find out? Can you call him today?” I said I would try, but thought his director might be gone for the day. “I’ll follow up in the morning”, I finally answered.
Fast forward to this morning. John brought it up right after breakfast. “Did you call?” was the first question out of his mouth. ” No John, I will talk to him this morning. They are probably not there yet.” I assured him, again, that I would make a backup lunch for him just in case, and talk to the director at drop off. I could tell this issue left him unsettled. Once we got to camp I asked the director to check the ingredients of the buns to make sure there were no milk products in it (I knew the brand of hot dogs was OK) and to call me. So that was it, and I waited for his call later in the morning.
I heard from him a short time later and was informed there were, in fact milk products in the buns they bought. The offered to just let John eat plain hot dogs with no bun. No way, I thought. There’s no fun in eating a plain hot dog without a bun, especially when you’re at the beach with all your friends. I picked up a pack of safe hot dog buns and dropped them off before lunch. I am hoping my little guy had a nice, uneventful cookout after all.
One more note on camp dining; it IS different than eating in a lunchroom. Less supervised, no “peanut free” zones and everything in general is more relaxed than in a school atmosphere. What I didn’t realize is how exclusionary it can be for kids with allergies. This whole summer I thought my son was eating in a safe, designated area of the camp shelter with picnic tables and such. But John just let me know that he eats alone every day with his camp counselor on a bench, outside the shelter where the other kids are eating. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. I asked why, because this whole time I thought he sat with the other kids at a cleaned table. John told me a lot of kids bring peanut butter to camp, and that he felt safer eating elsewhere. He never brought this up to me before, and it really pains me to know he never mentioned anything. It is yet another reminder that food allergies can be very isolating.
After this camp season is over I am going to discuss food allergy management policies and control procedures at our local park district. I think there needs to be some consensus on how to handle lunchtime at camps, and field trips. I think overall our park district has done a great job, but they could benefit from some clearer guidelines at parks, etc. It is my hope that next summer, no child with an allergy ever has to eat alone on a bench.
well, you’re a good mom for bringing him a bun, you know my kids would have eaten without a bun (the gluten free aren’t as good and soft). I probably would have sent them with a piece of bread in the morning if they said they wanted one.
The fact that he ate with a counselor everyday makes me a little sad (unless it was special and her really liked the counselor), I didn’t realize there weren’t guidelines for camps that have food, that’s just not right.
I struggled the same way this week with my daughter’s allergy issues. We’ve been at VBS this week, and there’s a snack supper before the program begins. I have struggled with making my daughter a ‘have not’ due to her allergies – asking for a plate with no dessert (cookies) and sitting with me instead of her age-mates. She’s too young to really care about it yet, but it hit me hard.
Aw, he seems like such a little worrier. I can relate to that. Would it help to have the allergist talk with him about what’s OK and what’s not? Sometimes just having an outside authority say it’s OK for you … , ride an airplane, sit at a table near where the other kids have pb, etc. is all it takes to ease his mind. At this age, they put such stock in doctors and teachers and the like. I had asked our allergist for a referral to a child psychologist after I overheard a little girl teasing my little guy about not being able to eat birthday cake at a party. He had shrugged and said “I know, it would make me sick.” When he was so matter of fact, she dropped it, and they ran off to play together. The allergist said he thought that sounded just about like the perfect response, but he gave me the name anyway. We haven’t used it, but I like having it. I think there is a real strain there that is underestimated.
iKelly, t really disturbed me to read about how your son eats alone. I witnessed this happen to my non-allergic son’s friend on a classroom field trip in the fall of 2008. I just could not wrap my mind around the thinking, that they were protecting the child by separating him and making him eat standing up outside the tent/covered shelter where all of his classmates happily ate seated at tables together. Lunchtime at school is one of the biggest social times of the day, and I imagine it must similar at camp!
I had better stop writing about it. It is too frustrating!
Good luck in your talks with the camp staff/management at the end of the summer.
Colette, I know, I didn’t realize how isolating the camp situation was either until this week. It definitely saddended me, and I plan to meet with the director in preparation for next year to help figure out better guidelines at lunchtime.
That is hard, RLR. I can definitely relate! Jennifer, that is a fantastic idea! We have discussed allergies in general with his allergist at his annual appointments. I think the issue is slightly different at camp than at lunchrooms because a. they don’t use wet wipes at the picnic tables, there’s no nearby facility to wash hands (peanut butter residue), and from what I understand from John, there are a LOT of kids with peanut butter, which I believe because it is the perfect outside food to carry in your lunchbox. But you are so right, there is always an underlying strain there, not only on the parents to keep their kiddos safe, but on the kids themselves. Thanks so much for your comment!
Jennifer, I know what you mean, where is the line between protecting the child and separating him. Lunch is a very important social time, and I hope that next year, things will be different.
Kelly – I am so sorry that your son had that experience. Most of my friends think I’m nuts b/c I typically travel w/an extra hotdog roll and hamburg roll in my bag as my experince 90% of the time has been restaurants and various other food places never have safe rolls. You should have seen the look on their faces at Chili’s when I ordered him a plain hamburg and whipped a roll out of my purse! : )
I hope your talks w/camp directors & management goes well – we’ve been lucky and had good luck with directors and even camp nurses who are very conscious of allergies, safety and inclusion. Perhaps they’ll even consider peanut/nut free as an option – one of the largest Y camps in our area (about 500 kids per session) is strictly peanut, tree nut AND sunflower seed free – which gives me much relief especially since it is a “pack your childs lunch” every day kind of place. They will even ask kids to either throw away a snack or bring it home if there’s any concern that it has/was made with nuts.
I hope the rest of your summer (and John’s) is stress free!
Kelly, your story just hurts my heart. I think you are right- just another reminder that allergies are isolating. It’s also another look at how resilient allergy kids are. My son (like RLR’s) went to his first VBS this week. I ended up bringing him his own food for the whole program. They didn’t have safe snacks. He handled it like a champ and was just happy to have something when the other kids did.
Thanks for sharing your story. It is always hard to read about struggles but it also encourages me because it reminds me I am not alone.
Aww, poor kid. Such a sad day when a physical ailment leads children to feel insecure like that! It’s too bad because there is a mixture of allergy-free kids with moms who probably just want them to eat healthier (by using peanut butter, perhaps low-fat dairy products, etc), but kids with food allergies too who not only want to eat healthily but safely as well! Hopefully camp will still help him strengthen his relationship with his peers, and maybe with his sense of self in relation to them, too!
I’m so sorry you found you John was eating alone with the counselor at camp
My oldest (9 1/2) started a new camp this week. The camp has a nut free policy but we discussed the fact that some campers might bring forget the policy PB anyway on the first day. Our allergist has given her the ok to eat at a table with other kids eating PB, but she is not comfortable with that-in her view, the kids are too messy and she worries about residue. I am not going to insist she do something that makes her uncomfortable even if I think it’s ok. So I was resigned to the fact that she might eat away from the rest of the kids today. Imagine my pleasant surprise when she told me the the few kids who brought PB had to eat at their own separate table. She was very happy with the lunch arrangements. 4 days to go..I hope the rest of the week goes as well 
Lorraine, that makes me so happy to hear your daughter had a positive experience at camp this week. I LOVE the idea of a nut free policy, and your camp sounds very proactive and forward thinking. I hope the rest of the week goes as smoothly and it sounds like it probably will!
My peanut allergy son is just turning 4 this month, and he is wise beyond his years. I joke that he was born with an “old soul” but I really think it is the allergies that have brought about the wisdom and thoughtfulness I see in him that few kids his age have. When I read about your son it makes me think of how my guy will be in the future, and the challenges we will face. Thanks so much for addressing all the real issues that allergy kids and parents deal with in an honest and thoughtful manner. Love the recipes too!
Thanks so much Teresa for your very sweet comment! I couldn’t agree with you more. Every child I know with food allergies has this inate sense of responsibility and wisdom that comes with having to live with a life threatening condition. I have two August boy bdays as well…happy bday to your little guy!!
I understand the difficulties you and your son have been going through. I’d like to share something that my son has experienced that I hope yours can look forward to, also. My son just turned 11 and has been involved in the boy scouts since he was 7. This is the first year he is going on campouts with his troop, and without myself or his dad. Not only has his troop been incredibly accommodating with all of my son’s allergies, the other boys in the group refuse to eat items that my son is allergic to. They don’t think it’s fair for them to eat things that my son can’t eat. This wasn’t something that the parents or adults in the group forced on these boys, this is something that they decided on their own to do. So when he goes on these campouts I know that everyone there, including the other children, are looking out for my son’s safety. If only other groups were this cooperative, I would worry less!