Today John celebrated his 7th birthday, even though his big party was last week. I surprised him like I do all my children with their favorite breakfast in bed. I line the tray with pretty flowers, napkins, yummy treats and homemade cards. When I dropped John off at school today I reiterated to him I wasn’t coming to “celebrate” his birthday at school, but we’d have his family party at home later that evening. He was very excited, gave me a kiss goodbye and ran inside the building.
Around 12:40p I got the call we all fear most; something happened in the lunchroom. Within two seconds I could tell the school nurse wasn’t calling me to tell me there was injury on the playground or someone had a tummy ache. She said “Mrs. Rudnicki, I’m calling to let you know there was a breach at the peanut free table today.” My stomach fell to the ground, and I felt queasy as I waited for the next part. “A child mistakenly sat at the peanut free table and started eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich.” I kept thinking, Uh huh…where is this going? Is John in an ambulance somewhere?
“A staffer noticed this and immediately removed the child from the table, had him/her wash their hands and the table was wiped down.” I kept thinking, did John have a reaction or not? I was increasingly worried as she didn’t say “He’s OK”". Finally I blurted, “Is John OK? Did anything happen to him?”. She mentioned he seemed fine, but that his face looked red an splotchy. She asked if he got any sun this weekend. I replied “No, he didn’t .” I told the nurse to give him Benadryl and keep a close eye on him for the next hour since he could still suffer a delayed reaction. She was to watch for any coughing, saying his mouth hurts, etc. The nurse did so, and when I checked in with her an hour later, she said John was fine, just rubbing his eyes a bit (one of those lovely side effects from the Benadryl).
Mistakes can and do happen. I believe this was an honest mistake. However, it highlights how even a child sitting a few seats away eating a peanut butter sandwhich can trigger a reaction. If John had even touched the part of the table where the child ate his lunch, the reaction would have been much worse. We feel very lucky that the allergic reaction was minor. When John came home we talked about it and it didn’t seem to phase him one big. He was more excited about his school day and the fact it was his birthday.
The rest of the day went much smoother as we made John’s favorite dinner (sloppy joes) and for his birthday cake, my Dairy, Egg and Nut Free Lemon Cake. Despite the incident in the lunchroom, it was another great birthday for him. Here’s to hoping the rest of the year I don’t get any more phone calls like that!
Thank Goodness! Glad he was ok!
Oh no! And on his birthday! I’m so glad he’s all right.
So happy everything turned out well…children are resiliant aren’t they?
I’m so sorry Kelly! Thankful he is ok and had a good time with his family. (The lemon cake is wonderful!) Good choice:) What number on the scale is John to peanuts and milk? Must be pretty severe if he wasn’t even near the child with the pb&j! Ella is a 4 but I’m not sure how severe that is.
Lindsey
I dread that phone call. Thankfully, I’ve never received one. Even more thankfully, is that your son is okay and that he doesn’t seem anxious about it.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and concern. It wasn’t what we had expected for his birthday, but thankfully the reaction was minor. Linsdey, John’s level is on the high side. His asthma increases the chance of a severe reaction.
So glad that John is okay! We’ve had breaches at my son’s peanut free table at school too. Thankfully, the school took it seriously, which sounds like the case at John’s school. Kudos to them for realizing there was a breach!
My son turns 6 tomorrow and starts Kindergarten a week from today. He is the first food allergy student at his school. I was at the school yesterday talking to the principal and head of the cafeteria staff trying to ensure the peanut-free table was going to be set up properly. Your post was more than timely.
I read the post after it saw your link on Twitter at the end of my day. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare me to read your words. Of course, I know this is a possibility. Accidents can happen. Mistakes can happen. I went to bed with an overwhelmed feeling. I re-read your post today and remembered something a teacher told commended me on yesterday. She applauded my efforts to teach my son to protect himself in life (in the “real world”). She complimented me on not keeping him in a bubble. At the time, the words didn’t really resonate with me. Part of me really wishes I could keep him in a bubble! But, after reading your story and thinking about how it didn’t phase your son, I am reminded that we are doing a tremendous service to our food allergic children. We are protecting them – with all of our energy and everything we have – and we are providing for them – by giving them the tools they need (the know-how and the right attitude) to protect themselves.
I am very thankful that your son is okay. Thank you for sharing.
HUGS! I don’t know if I will be able to send DS to school next year. Thanks for sharing your experiences. It’s truly a service.
Oh no. On his birthday no less. Glad to hear that he is alright. Scary stuff. Hope you are enjoying some lemon cake right now.
oh, wow. Glad your sweet guy is ok! I’m glad they called you about this, but a little shocked that they don’t know what hives look like!
Glad it turned out okay. I’m always nervous if I see a school number on the caller ID. Two years ago in preschool a boy brought in peanut butter filled pretzels. One of the aides noticed, took them away and my daughter was taken imediately to the nurse. The nurse called, and she was fine, but they were monitoring her just in case. Luckily the school is around the corner from us, so I was able to go over quickly. When the teacher told the boys parents, they apologized and said they thought they had bought the cheese filled ones because the school has a peanut free policy (even with that in place, accidents can happen).
Linda
Wow, thanks to all of you for sharing your comments of concern and personal stories. They mean so much to me, and it really helps to put it all into perspective…we are all going through this together. All the what ifs, what could haves, etc is what keeps us up at night. But Jane Anne brought up a wonderful point….the incident didn’t phase John, and for that I am grateful for his resilience. These FA kids are truly a special bunch…they are so accepting of their bodies and situation, and never have the “why me” attitude. I’ve met many of them over the years…and they all carry these same wonderful traits.
Thanks again to all of you for always being a tremendous source of support!
Am so glad your son is fine…I think it’s sometimes much harder for us as parents to “get over it” (or at least act like we’re fine with the situation) than for the children dealing directly….so glad he’s fine and you’re okay as well.
Hugs to you and your family!
Glad everything ended well. My sons’ school does such a good job of telling me the “how is he” before they even go into the story, which is so reassuring. BTW – I’d love the recipe for your lemon cake!!
How scary! I’m glad he’s okay.
Danielle…the yummy lemon cake recipe is in my Recipes section, and will also be in the book too. Thanks!!
I can’t believe you had to wait that long before you found out whether your son was okay or not. It makes me grateful when anyone from my children’s school calls, they preface things with, “It’s not an emergency,” before continuing on with the purpose of the call.
I’m so glad everything turned out well and your son had a good attitude. This is what will help him keep a cool head–you’ve done a great job!
I totally agree Vivian. I’m so thankful John is as cool and level headed as he is…some of my other children….no way they would have been so calm!
Thank you so much for doing this blog! My son is 13 months and we found out he is allergic to Milk when I tried to wean him a couple of months ago. We ended up on the Ambulance with him struggling for breath. Thank heavens he was fine in the end. I’m so new to this and since I have several years before he begins school, I think after reading your blog it would be wise for me to begin now in helping to educate the school he will be attending. My oldest daughter is in 1st grade there and my 4 year old will be a Kindergartener next year. We live in a very small rural community and the school district here is behind on many things, so I realize I might be facing an uphill battle. It’s so good to know I’m not alone. I’ve been frustrated many times with people mistaking Milk Allergy for Lactose Intolerance. I really am terrified of school, right now I have all the control. I think I rambled here a bit, but most importantly, Thanks again for what you are doing!
Kelly, I think my heart dropped into my stomach when I saw the title of your article. . .I am so glad that everything is OK! You are right- the things that could have been definitely can keep us up at night! I am so glad John is fine, thanks for everything you do for parents of food allergic kids!
Kelly..
I am glad that your son is OK. I must say, those fears are constantly on my mind. Currently, I am fighting a battle with daycare. My little girl is severely allergic to milk, eggs, and peanuts. Her RAST scores are over 100. Even dry milk residue on anything is enough to cause a severe reaction. Recently, at her daycare, one parent dropped off his little boy to the classroom and I noticed that the child had a piece of cheddar cheese in his hand and was munching on it as he ran around and touched everything he could get his hands on! I was horrified. I was running around the classroom wiping everything he touched. I alerted the daycare staff, and although they have been very understanding and accommodating, the parents of other children have been anything but. Most parents even refused to attend the allergy meeting that the daycare director had setup. She was extremely apologetic but told me that most parents expressed that it is not their problem if another child has allergies and that since it does not affect their own child, they don’t see why they have to be involved. So I suggested that we send out an information package about allergies and the specific ones my daughter is allergic to, and have parents sign them to make sure they read them. Parents called the director and complained that they will not sign anything because they do not want to be liable for anything.
My little 2 year old has been exposed to milk residue twice in the past two weeks, at the daycare. Both times the epi-pen had to be administered, and the last time, 911 had to be called. I am starting to wonder if I am a bad mother for wanting her to be in daycare.
I am beside myself, and I am not sure how to deal with this. I have looked at pretty much every daycare centre in the city. This is the only one that accepted to take her in. All other daycares refused, and one even suggested that I should not be putting her in daycare to begin with. Do you have any advice, or have you been exposed to that kind of ignorance before?
Do any of the readers have any advice about this? How do you deal with stubborn parents?
To Canadian Mom-
I am not a parent of a child with severe allergies, but just a close friend of Kelly’s family who just wants to extend a sincere since of empathy for your situation. I have always been baffled by the way that people take these severe cases with children.
If there is any advice that I could give, I would say that people are persuaded in different ways. For some, people will not see a point of view until they have experienced what it is like firsthand. In other words, they will only be able to appreciate the consequences of an allergen-free lifestyle when it directly affects a friend or family member. For others, it might just be a gradual approach, with personal stories of your own, and instances (like Kelly’s book) that make an allergen free lifestyle much easier and less of a dramatic change from the norm. Others will also appreciate a more statistical and factually based approach, based on prevalence data and the chemistry and INABILITY for an allergic student to control how his/her body reacts to it. The difficulties behind allergic children are not just emotional, but physical as well. Many people have a tendency to dismiss these requirements from parents as emotional, and therefore find it easier to not allow the necessary restrictions to promote a safe environment for their children.
Just know that there are definitely lots of people feeling for you out there! Kelly has shown great progress. It’s just a struggle, and hopefully we can all make it easier for the people who are most important…the kids!
Sandra, what a beautifully written comment. Couldn’t have said it myself and I am so thankful for your heartfelt words. So wonderful….
Canadian Mom, thanks so much for your comment…and I loved Sandra’s response to it. You’re all so amazing and supportive.
Hi, to Canadian Mom re the dairy allergy. My son is anaphylactic to dairy, eggs, peanuts and moderately allergic to wheat. Our allergist’s advice was no group care until he was school age. My husband and I work off hours from each other so that one of us is home with him. When we need child care we have a sitter come to the house. At church we do not use the nursery either. My older daughter (age 6) goes to school and is anaphylactic to just peanuts. It gets easier in some ways when they get older. Until then I would seriously look at your situation and see if you can make other arrangements. I wouldn’t use group day care.